Planets, Minutes and Love

5:46 in the morning
no biggie
not tired or yawning
comatose
dreaming

iphone tones screaming
i think that i'm dreaming
vivid
till reality interjects
livid i am
but like angelou i rose
unwrap the digital prose
allow the seed of thought to be planted
i expect something ranted
but all she said was…

write me a love poem

and it made me pause

she said
i know your words are not born for my cause
and i'm not misled on my worth in your world
but i need something to uncurl this ball of emotions
i need to feel devotion
like a slave who didn't want to be freed
like people who bled on southern streets in the 60's
something to make me believe i can rewrite the history of my youth
tell me the truth
or just lie to me
i don't really give a shit

i'm tired of being the one
who love always picks to play heartache's game
so I quit before my time
cause cupid's ass is blind and has bad aim
instead of arrows hitting my heart
they shoot sparks off my clit
thus instead of loving the man
i fall in lust with the dick
and now i'm sitting here writing you
5:47
single
with two kids
and

alone

she said
write me something
that makes me feel like they'll call me and atone

for their actions

it doesn't even have to be painted with passion
give me the power to wonder about my reaction
i've had intellects who treated me stupidly
so big words i don't understand is really nothing new to me
i've had dogs who do nothing but eat, shit and sleep
so grunting and pointing at your heart
is something probably incredibly sweet
in my mind
only

i don't care where you find the syllables
even if its not your best
residuals
remnant scents of what you left behind
it will be mine
and that's all that matters

and before you ask me…
i know it

i know you're just a man
i know you're just a poet

but i'm a planet revolving in space without a sun
i'm a mother raising a son to be a man
who wont understand what the fuck he's doing
raising a daughter who contemplates pursuing
anything but the choices i've made with my heart
so i know this is your art
but this is my life

and i'm not asking you for yours
i'm just asking you to write

for me

signed
sincerely

the only one you can free

5:48
innate thoughts
astounded
immersed in darkness
but surrounded by heaven

if she only loved herself
was equal to seven syllables
a miserable epiphany
she didn't need a love poem
she needed clarity and faith
her strength was evident
yet shrouded in mistakes
and the job to make the picture clearer
was mine

5:49

i jest
how could it take me 3 minutes to write the word

yes

crazy…

2012©The EuRiPedesBlack experience, all rights reserved.

Ceiling Fans, Popcorn and a Writer.

Somewhere in the world

there's a yearning for a man

there's a demand for his words

to lift the burden of their reality

and surround them with the cloak of creation

yet here I sit...desolate

searching every corner of my realm for inspiration

oscillating fans

microwave kernals

dripping faucets

flushing urinals

dryer sheets

remnant scents of recent freak sessions

everything in the world but...

my flow

my cup is runneth over with flurries of white noise

while out there in the world...someone sits

praying for a second of poise from a man

yearning for his words to bring peace of mind

but right now

all i can find is calm

with no kaleidoscope of storms on the horizon

could this be the day that life will be surprising?

maybe I'll get up and go out into the world

find a paradigm to unfold

embrace the belief that just maybe...

reality can be inspiring to the soul

i stare at the ceiling... 

i'd rather sleep...I'm tired

but i have to get up

and inspire.

2012©The EuRiPedesBlack experience, all rights reserved.

Whinos and Marathons

i walked pass a drunken man today
homeless by the absence of four walls only
and to my surprise

despite having no reason to ever know me
he invaded my space

aimed a stoic gaze into my face and whispered


life is tiring
clarity is the prize at the end of our path
but the only way we cannot avoid succumbing to the wrath is too..

run

when the first breathe of the morning enters your lungs
welcomed by the existence of amber blurred visions
racing to meet the first light of the morning sun
where ignorance and foresight collide with precision

you must run

when negativity is chasing you around every turn
injecting ignorant obstacles in your path
hoping you never learn by overcoming strife
as your life embraces wrath over perseverance

you must run

when your path has no clearance
for love will tell running blindly into misery 

is where a fool's errand dwells

remind them history shows the only way to heaven 

is to embrace the iconic journey through hell

you must run

let the breeze of doubt and monotony fly off of your face
allow yourself to embrace the unknown future
have faith time with suture the scars of your psyche
become keenly aware of what you truly are
and bring death to the visions of what you might be

you must run

scour the vastness of african wilds
swim the mississippi rivers with heavenly strokes
climb the everest that hinders your progression
plant the stake that shows the world you are the essence of hope

run until you extinguish the last ember of their fire
run until you enter an atmosphere where they cannot go higher
run until you're followed by minions who cant escape what you inspire

run until your energy
your will
your life

the essence of your being is expired

and when today's journey comes to an end…

rest

allow those amber blurred silhouettes back into your eyes
for tomorrow another race will come forth

become one with the morning sun and wait

kanye told you jesus walks

but as a man 

you must run to fate

and then he spoke no more

asked me for some "change"

so he could run to the corner store to buy his tonic

is that ironic or what?

crazy…

2012©The EuRiPedesBlack experience, all rights reserved.

Streetlights, Dogs and Wood

one night…i remember

flickering street lights
a small dog barking with persistence
car horns and the crackling of burning wood
forming a chaotic melody in the distance

devoid of hope
i entered the kaleidoscope of uncertainty
only wishing for the next day
and then surprisingly
in the time it takes silence to die
a shadow, silhouette, masterpiece of her obscured my vision

with the click of each heel
i could feel her chipping away
destroying the wall surrounding my inhibitions

i was…engulfed
overwhelmed by the sense of my heart led astray
my intuition told me to find Harriet's way
and run into a midnight Canadian sky
as if freedom lay on the horizon within my grasp

but..my mind was still

my will to love was stronger
and although i knew pain can last until the longest forever
i chose to sever the weight of heartache's sin
i chose carry the pain and try again

i whispered into the darkness…

this time she will know me
this time she will love me
this time she will be my friend
this will be something my heart will fight for
no longer will my heart be torn

one night i remember…I was reborn

flickering street lights
dogs
burning wood and car horns

the night i shed my disdain
realizing joy + pain = love
like licking honey from a rose's thorn

i chose to try my luck again…

i chose to love

i chose to win

u probably think I'm an idiot right?

Crazy...

©The EuRiPedesBlack experience, all rights reserved.

Spelling Purpose

I am a writer
I write about love and pain
i know them intimately

and I wish i could tell you that yearning to love someone
is like trying to catch your next breath
but you'd be left with nothing but reality
i tell myself you'd act gallantly and openly embrace your fate
but my mind took away my heart's ability to debate years ago
but if you're out there staring at the window
waiting on the innuendo of love from someone
who's experienced nothing more
than a lust induced crescendo...i apologize

I forgot in my rise to happiness
that dormant pain can still heal 
can still offer comfort to those who don't understand why it hurts
that those who are engulfed in heartache
can still feel a sense of escape
if they hear me say the possibility exists
because they understand
I didn't experience the pain of a kiss for nothing
life is my gift...living is my power
and providing clarity in the lives of the heartbroken is why I exist

i am a writer
i write about love and pain.
i know them intimately

and i used to think life could never be defined by words
hypocritically absurd...I know

crazy

- RiP

Another excerpt from my upcoming novel "Five"

"I stopped counting how many times I'd caught myself standing in this place years ago. Aimlessly staring into the mirror wondering exactly what I saw when I looked at him. His eyes held misery as if they were born to show pain. His demeanor was as cold as new heartache lost in a December sky. Everything about his spirit bemoaned a person that someone who yearned to be loved should fear. And despite seeing the clarity of a future restless craze, I came back anyway. I could ignore his reality until the end of days but the possibility...the possibility of the man he could be...the possibility of us together was crippling. I knew then that he would have to be the one to leave me. In my mind the lines that separate love and lust had been blurred. And I would stake my life on the principle that our lives together would never be deterred. Never."- Five

Hopelessness....

The word hopelessness can mean so many things to so many people. Many people spend their entire lives not knowing exactly what it feels like to hope or want for anything. Life has been fortunate enough to put them or their family in a position where resources are plentiful and there is never a question of if something can be acquired.

These are the fortunate people in our world.

Because normalcy for many of us, either at some point or during our entire existence, revolved around that one word. Hopelessness. Short of the inevitability of death, i cannot imagine a worst feeling that can encompass a person's entire being. Imagine you have the will, the know how and the courage to pull yourself out of the rut life has you stuck in. But there's nothing you can do to fix it. Because you need help. And no matter how convincing the longing on your face is, no matter how many times you hear footsteps in the hall and stare at your door praying help is coming for you, it never does. The inevitable fact that you are on your own is reinforced and permanent in your mind.

I spent last night watching the 2011 CNN Heroes program on CNN. These are individuals who through self-revelation or trials and tribulations in their own lives, recognized the need to extinguish the feeling of hopelessness in the lives of the people who merely just need a helping hand or a kick in the ass.

They stepped out on faith and have made a positive difference in communities all over the world and through the grace of CNN, they were recognized nationally for it.

Every year I give to some type of charity. This year it's the teachers in need at DonorsChoose.org and familiies in need of food at www.family-to-family.org

I give what i can because me and my family know first hand what hopelessness feels like.

As the holiday season comes forth, look into the mirror and ask yourself do you know what it feels like as well. If the answer is yes, do something to affect someone else's life and remove it from there's. Even for just a smidgeon or inkling of time...it's more than some people will ever have the pleasure of knowing.

Have a good weekend. Respect.

RiP